Daydreamer

So I like the titles of my blogs to be the title of some song, any song at all. It's funny because when I googled "songs about guys" the google auto-complete had some harsh stuff programmed into the system. It looked like this:

songs about guys being jerks

songs about guys that are jerks

songs about guys leading you on

songs about guys cheating

songs about guys lying

songs about guys who are players

songs about guys being confusing

Naturally, this was discouraging because I was searching for a song about good guys... and then it hit me. The song I wanted was "Daydreamer" by Adele. [It describes a gentleman, and I suppose you should hear it for yourself to see how the end goes.] ANYways, I notice that a lot of ladies who have been hurt/mistreated/led on/disappointed by guys tend to write unkind things about boys (I say boys ALOT because some guys just haven't stepped into their manhood). And while I understand where some of these ladies are coming from, I notice that this method of catharsis can have very negative effects on the guys in our generation.

Some ladies say things like "Some boys will never grow up", or "All guys are dogs and that's just the way it is". Sometimes ladies are very specific with their hate and say things like "I hate it when guys pick you up just to leave you hanging! That's what happened to me...". For one thing, I don't think anyone should disclose their most personal thoughts on Facebook (because if so then what the heck are best friends for?) But my more important point concerns what these kind of messages are doing to our guys. We use the collective terms "guys", "boys", "fellas", and even "niggas" referring to the entire male population as a whole. It plants a very ugly seed that says "Hey, this is how guys have been for centuries so I may as well live up to the expectations society has made for me." I beg to differ.

I personally feel that guys are meant to do so much. They are leaders who play the dominant role in society. Physically, they hold the upper hand (otherwise the NBA would be co-ed lol). Within marriage, they respectfully lead their wives spiritually and within the home they serve as the provider, the protector, and the prime example of God's love for his children.

LADIES, we should be encouraging the guys in our life to do right. Granted, some guys do not want to be good and may never change, but instead of insisting that all men are the same, we should celebrate their uniqueness and creativity. We should insist that they possess qualities of love, commitment, compassion, kindness, and gentleness. We shouldn't allow people to speak poorly of the dudes in our life, and we should always offer a helping hand. Plus, we should give guys a good reason to be righteous. "Boy, she's just so patient with me that I can't help wanting to give her the world..." You feel me?

At an Expresso at my church, one man named Paul Brown was describing how his (now lovely wife!) April sometimes forgets to lock the car doors, but he never expects her to do it or hangs it over her head. He said "If you always expect someone to do wrong, don't be surprised when that's exactly what they do." In that respect it is so important to give everyone the benefit of the doubt so that you can exercise your ability to forgive and they can strive to meet the new reputation you're letting them create for themselves.

On that note FELLAS, I just want to let you know that I have very high expectations for you. Regardless of who you have hurt in the past or what you have said or done, I know what you are capable of. Please do not be afraid to step into your manhood because it's a beautiful thing. God has a plan for you each and every day so call on him to help you out when you're tempted to step out on your girlfriend or even check out the girl who just walked by. If you have trouble treating women right or you simply don't know how, then get connected with some guys who display great examples of loving "like Christ loved the church". I know some amazing men who would be glad to help you! Just do what it takes and know that us ladies will be right there cheering you on:)